


The Woes of a Matchmaker

by izukillme



Series: KnB VDay Challenge 2020 [7]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Cooking, Humor, Kagami is so done with Akashi's shit, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:34:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22974862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/izukillme/pseuds/izukillme
Summary: "Please teach me how to cook."Kagami nearly spit out his drink.OR, the one in which Akashi learns to cook to impress Murasakibara, Aomine is a closet romantic, Murasakibara is really fucking scary when he's jealous, and Kagami the unwitting matchmaker is no longer in possession of a door.
Relationships: Akashi Seijuurou & Kagami Taiga, Akashi Seijuurou/Murasakibara Atsushi, Aomine Daiki/Kagami Taiga
Series: KnB VDay Challenge 2020 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1651021
Comments: 14
Kudos: 148
Collections: KnBVdayChallenge 2020





	The Woes of a Matchmaker

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Free Day. It started as AkaMura domestic fluff and ended here. Woe is me 😂

“Please teach me how to cook.”

Kagami nearly spit out his drink at the request from the earnest-looking Akashi, whose red eyes were locked on his own pleadingly. 

“What do you _mean?!_ ” he spluttered in confusion. “Teach you how to cook?”

“Yes,” Akashi nodded. “The things you brought to our game today were delicious, and I would like to learn from you, if that is possible.”

Kagami eyed him suspiciously, still not over the whole stabbing incident. “This isn’t some trick of yours so that you can finish the job, is it?” He raised a hand to touch the scar on his cheek. 

Akashi looked absolutely mortified, colour flushing to his cheeks. “I… I do believe I haven’t properly apologised for that. What can I even say? I _stabbed_ you, and now here I am, asking for your help in the most peremptory manner possible. Forgive me; I’ll take your leave now.” he rambled, getting to his feet with poise and precision even in his flustered state.

Kagami watched him go, burger halfway to his mouth. Guilt surged in his chest, watching Akashi’s shoulders slump almost imperceptibly as he walked away from the streetball court where he’d cornered Kagami after the rest of the Miracles had left. 

_The guy is genuinely sorry… and he_ **_was_ ** _mentally ill when he did that… it’s not an excuse, but it’s an explanation that should be good enough._

Before he could stop himself, he called out, “Wait!”

Akashi stilled in place, turning around with wide eyes. 

“I’ll help you,” Kagami said through gritted teeth, cursing his soft heart. He was going to regret this, but hell if his conscience would let him live it down. “I’ll teach you how to cook.”

The way Akashi’s face lit up like a lantern when Kagami presented the offer almost made him feel better about the whole thing.

* * *

Turns out, Akashi was actually a pretty decent learner - more than decent, but Kagami wasn’t about to admit that. He followed instructions well and didn’t presume to know everything, unlike on the court. He even brought all the ingredients that they would need in extra-large quantities, as well as his own tools and apron. The specific dishes he requested to learn were what really bamboozled Kagami. 

“Cream stew and treacle tart?” 

Akashi’s chin bobbed up and down. “Yes.”

Kagami sighed. “Right, but both of those are heavy dishes. Won’t you want something lighter?”

Akashi shuffled his feet and looked at the ground. “...they’re for someone who can stomach it.” he mumbled.

Kagami stared at him for a few moments before it started to come together.

“Today is Valentine’s Day,” he realised aloud. “And the only person we both know who can stomach that much heavy stuff is… Murasakibara.”

“Yes.”

“Wait. Wait, wait, wait. So you-” Kagami pointed at him, still in disbelief, “you have a crush on fucking _Murasakibara?_ ”

A soft sigh from Akashi, whose eyes contained a mixture of wistfulness and puppy-love, confirmed his suspicions.

Kagami sat down with his head in his hands and face-palmed. Akashi liking Murasakibara… he never thought he would see the day. 

But they had work to do. Especially if this was going to be intimate - dating Aomine, the world’s biggest closet romantic, had taught him a few things. 

“Right,” he declared, shaking off his stupor and standing up. “We’ve got to work on this a little more, then.”

Akashi looked slightly alarmed. “A little more? Have I done something wrong?”

Kagami shook his head. “No, no. Just… spice it up a little more.”

Akashi reached a tentative hand towards the spice shelf. Kagami batted his hand away quickly.

“Not like that.” he said very seriously, meeting Akashi’s eyes. “Do you understand what I mean?”

“...no?” Akashi looked utterly uncomprehending.

Kagami face-palmed for the second time in five minutes.

“This might be harder than I thought,” he muttered to himself.

* * *

It was much, _much_ harder than he had thought.

The hard part wasn’t getting Akashi to understand that he needed to be more romantic about it. No, it was _convincing_ him to go through with it. 

“Come on,” Kagami tried for the umpteenth time, placing a cosy over the pot of stew to keep it warm. “Write him a card, sign it, and put a rose in the middle. Decorate the tart with, like, petals and shit.”

“There are two problems with that. One, Murasakibara would just eat the petals and the rose. And two, he’ll know it was me who sent it.”

Kagami turned his head to stare incredulously at Akashi, who just looked innocently back at him. 

“Isn’t that the _fucking point?!_ ”

“No, I just planned to keep giving him things every Valentine’s Day in the most clandestine manner and continue pining for as long as I lived.” Akashi stated flatly.

Kagami choked. “I sincerely hope you’re being ironic.”

“I’m not.”

“I’m not giving you any more cooking lessons!”

“I don’t need them. I’ve learnt what I need to - and thank you very much for that.”

“...then when are you going to confess?”

“Never.”

“Come _on_! If you just sit there pining all your life, you’re going to become a wrinkly rich old man who’s crying over the fact that he never took the opportunity when he had it.” 

This finally seemed to have some effect on Akashi, who drew himself up indignantly.

“I,” he stated in a dignified tone, “will never be _wrinkly_.”

"Okay, look. Just… you gotta take your chances when you get them," Kagami said with a sigh. "You'll miss out on shit that you'll regret not having done with every bit of your soul. Confessing to your crush is one of those things." 

Akashi looked conflicted. Worry warred with hope in his eyes.

"But what if he rejects me?" he whispered finally, looking at his shoes.

Kagami clapped him on the back bracingly. "That's what ice cream and sad rom-coms are for. Now come on, we're gonna write a very nice card - well, _you_ are - and you're gonna put it with the food and hand deliver it to Murasakibara, yeah?" 

Akashi looked at him with grateful eyes, and Kagami suddenly felt an almost fatherly pride in him.

"Thank you, Kagami."

Kagami shrugged, unused to the sincerity in his tone. "Sure. Now let's get writing."

* * *

He'd had some old greeting cards lying around, and Akashi had quickly repurposed the rather ugly covers into a large card that was pretty enough to be given to someone. Despite himself, Kagami was impressed.

The note inside the card was also tooth-rottingly sweet, just like the treacle tart it sat upon. _To Murasakibara_ , it read, _from Akashi. I greatly enjoy spending time around you, and I would like to become something more to you. I hope you like the food. I made it for you especially._

"All right," Akashi was saying, tying a red ribbon around his casseroles, "I think I'll go see him now-", when Kagami's door was quite literally kicked in.

Murasakibara stood there, face purple with rage to match his hair. 

Both Kagami and Akashi stared at him, though with wildly different emotions on their faces. Kagami's expression was one of horror and shock, whereas Akashi bore pleasant surprise and _oh my god were there actually sparkles in his eyes no focus on how obvious he's being later Taiga your door was just broken down._

"My door," Kagami managed a strangled gulp before Murasakibara strode over and picked Akashi up with the ease that one would lift a newborn kitten. 

"I heard Aka-chin was spending the day with Kaga-chin." Murasakibara's voice seemed petulant and upset. "On _Valentine's Day._ "

"I can explain-" Akashi began.

Murasakibara shook his head. "I want Aka-chin to be with _me_ ," he insisted.

Akashi's face was aflame, and his lips moved but no sound came out. 

"I…" he managed finally. "Murasakibara-"

As if his point hadn't been clear enough, Murasakibara kissed Akashi. 

"There," he said, pulling away and smiling. "Mine."

Akashi seemed dazed. "I - can we do that again?"

Murasakibara obliged him. Kagami stood there watching with a small smile on his face until he recalled the little fact of his door being broken.

"Get out!" he roared, happiness for the new couple replaced quickly by anger. "And fix my damn door!"

Akashi and Murasakibara were too busy playing tonsil hockey to respond. Suddenly Kagami remembered the worst part of getting a couple together. 

He sat down on the floor, put his head between his legs and wept for his privacy. 

**Author's Note:**

> Akashi energy: 
> 
> Please leave a comment if you enjoyed!! Ive loved writing for this event :33


End file.
